


Sick of Shadows

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:09:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6986401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin had no idea what had been going on beneath her very nose, until the night she decided to welcome Dave home from a particularly brutal case. His affair sends her into the arms of another person trying to cope with heartbreak - Penelope Garcia. But when the shadows of what she saw that night come to the light, will her heart be able to stand the accusations thrown at her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They'd been keeping their relationship confined to hotel rooms and rendezvouses. But this last case had been awful on them, and Erin knew she had to comfort Dave when he came home, she wanted to be there for him, hold him, and let him work out his anger and grief. She had known that this was perilously close to throwing caution to the wind, and that it could very easily drive her to drink once more. But she didn't care, she was falling in love with him.

Erin had just about fallen asleep on the sofa when she heard the door from the garage open, and then his footsteps on the floor. Standing, she shook off the vestigial tendrils of sleep and made her way to the kitchen. She reached out and flipped on the light switch, only to see him locked in a passionate embrace with a thin blonde. As she gasped, they broke apart and she looked into the shocked eyes of Agent Jareau. "Chief Strauss!"

"I guess you don't need me to comfort you, David. Have a good evening." Refusing to give in to her tears in front of them, she grabbed her purse and fled the house. The cravings hit her before she even made it out of the driveway and she gripped the wheel of her car tighter, refusing to give in and head to the closest bar. She headed to the only place where she knew she would be safe, her office.

Parking in the garage, she swiped her id card and strode over to the elevators. As she pressed the six button, she heard her phone ring. She had to dig through her purse to find the damn thing and by the time she pulled it out, the caller had gone to voicemail. Looking at the display, she saw it had been Dave and she burst into tears, unable to hold them in any longer. She didn't want to listen to anything he had to say, and she thrust the phone back into her purse.

The doors opened and Erin stumbled out, hoping that the late hour would have seen everyone heading for home. Oh, she knew there were always a few agents milling around, eager to protect others from the dangers of the night, but they would take no notice of a distraught woman. Or at least she hoped so. Keeping her head down, she headed towards her office, only to run into a warm body.

"Chief Strauss?"

_Oh God, it's Penelope. She won't leave this alone. I have to answer her,_ she thought as she looked up into a pair of concerned brown eyes. "Yes, Ms. Garcia?"

"Are you heading to your office?" She nodded. "Good, I have a few questions." She steered her towards the door, shielding her from the few people they passed. Erin pulled out her keys and with a shaky hand she unlocked her door. Penelope left the lights in the outer office off and by feel, she opened her inner office door.

"The couch is on the left, in the corner," she said lowly, and they turned in that direction. Erin sat heavily and curled into a ball, beginning to sob. Tender hands wiped the tears from her face, and then pulled her into a warm, sheltering embrace. "I thought we were exclusive," she managed to choke out. "And I want a glass of whiskey so badly."

"One, you do not need the alcohol, it would reset, what, almost two hundred days of progress. And two, Rossi's cheating on you?" Erin nodded against the woman's chest. "I hope he enjoyed all those years of stellar credit, because they are now over. Do you know who he's screwing around on you with?"

Erin shook her head, knowing she couldn't reveal what she'd seen. There was a little boy's family at stake and she wouldn't do that him. "No. And please, don't do anything to him. I guess I just made a mistake and let my heart get tangled up with the wrong person." Penelope didn't let go of her, and she burrowed into the warmth she offered, her body colder than ice. "I thought I was falling in love with him."

As the other woman stroked her hair, she heard voices in her outer office. "Maybe she didn't come here, Dave. Maybe she went home or to a bar. This was more than enough to test anyone's sobriety." Erin hissed as Penelope's hands tightened roughly on a hank of her hair.

"No, _cara_ , she would have headed here. This is her safe space, she's told me that before. I knew we were playing with fire, but I never expected us to get caught."

"What if she tells Will?"

"I'll make sure she keeps her mouth shut." Erin drew in a breath and Penelope clapped a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet. "Erin? Are you in there?" She struggled to control her breathing, thankful that Penelope was keeping her from speaking out. "Maybe she went down to the firing range."

The footsteps left the room and Penelope let go of her. "You were protecting her. Why?"

"Henry." It was all she could say and she felt the other woman cup her face gently.

"Let's head up to my office. They'll be back once they know you're not shooting out your anger." They stood and she let Penelope wrap an arm around her waist, guiding her into the bullpen and up the infamous tech cave. As soon as the door was closed, Erin was pulled into a loving embrace and she broke down once more.

"I have to make sure that Henry isn't hurt by this. In the end, my feelings don't matter, keeping him in a stable home does. It's up to them to tell Will what they're doing. Please say you understand that."

Penelope guided her over to her own sofa and settled her down there. "I do understand that. I just wish it hadn't taken breaking your heart to see your selfless side."

"Me, too." Erin felt the beginnings of a horrendous headache and unconsciously nuzzled into the other woman, yawning deeply.

"Go to sleep, Erin. I'll keep them away from you."

"How?"

"I can lock anyone out of this office, if I so choose. There's access to a lot of sensitive data that I look at every day and, well, no one should be able to even accidentally see it."

She nodded and stretched out on the couch, kicking her pumps off onto the floor before curling her legs up to fit. She felt a warm blanket come to rest over her and she looked up into Penelope's eyes once more. "Thank you."

She smiled down on her and then knelt down. "You are more than welcome." Without warning, she tweaked her nose and Erin couldn't stop the smile that came to her lips. "That's what I like to see. If you don't mind, I'm going to kiss your forehead now. My momma always did that to make me feel better after I'd been on a crying jag."

Her lips were rose petal soft against her forehead and Erin sighed a little. Reaching out, she took hold of Penelope's hand, squeezing tightly. "I still want that whiskey."

"And I still want you to keep your sobriety. Sleep now, things will look clearer, later." Erin nodded as she closed her eyes, letting sleep steal over her.

A few hours later, she woke up to the sound of someone pounding on the door. "Baby Girl, let me in! What is going on?" Looking around the room, she found Penelope asleep on the floor next to her. Carefully, she got up without disturbing the sleeping woman and made her way to the door.

"Can I help you, Agent Morgan?" she asked, certain she looked a mess, but not really caring. His eyes widened in surprise and he drew in a deep breath. "Penelope is sleeping right now. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, Ma'am. But, are you okay? Do you need me to get Rossi?"

She shrank back and shook her head violently. "No, no, I'll be fine. Don't let him know I'm here, okay? Please?"

Morgan nodded and stepped inside the door, closing it behind him. "What is going on, Erin? You look like Hell."

She laughed mirthlessly. "That's exactly how I feel. I guess you could say that David and I broke up last night. I'm hiding out in Penelope's office, since she can lock out the world, and lock me away from the sweet siren's call of alcohol. I'm hanging on by a thread, Derek."

"Then no one will know you're in here. But, it's close to ten, and we have a new case to brief. What should I tell Hotch and the others?"

"Tell them that she obviously had a very late night last night, after that case you closed. Tell them she's sleeping right now, and that if they need anything technical, they can use another analyst, like Mr. Lynch. Tell them she's taking a personal day."

"And what about you, Erin?"

"Take the team out to lunch today, after you brief the case. When you get there, text Penelope and let her know so that I can go home and take a shower."

"She's going with you."

"I can take care of myself, Derek. I'm a grown woman of fifty."

"Who is also, by her own admission, craving alcohol right now. I know how hard you've worked to get this far, Erin. While I know you have to be a bit of a hard-ass here at work, I also know that you pour out a double measure for yourself." She cocked her head and smiled bemusedly. "So, my Baby Girl is going to take you home at noon and you are going to spend an afternoon doing whatever it is you women do to feel better."

"That sounds wonderful, Sugar." They both turned to look at Penelope, and she came up to them, resting an arm around Erin's waist. The casual familiarity was still not something she was accustomed to, but she didn't pull away. "Now, go get that case briefed while I work on making us presentable enough to scoot out of here."

He nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him. "Penelope…"

"Before you argue with us, listen. Rossi came back last night, trying to get me to track you down. I said that I would, but my fingers were crossed, so it totally didn't count, but he smells blood. We need to talk about last night and what you saw and what we heard. I'm Henry's godmother."

Erin could only shrug, trying not to cry again. "I know." She turned into Penelope and let the woman wrap her in a tight hug. Knowing she was safe here allowed her to lower her walls just a little, and rubbed her face in the other woman's shoulder. "So, ninety minutes until we're sprung from here." She pulled away from Penelope and took a seat on the sofa once more. "So, I went over to his house last night, to welcome him home, help him forget that awful case. We hadn't spent the night in our homes yet, it would have been the first time. I heard him come home and went to greet him when I saw him k-kissing Agent Jareau. I fled, and before I even started the car, I was craving. I came here and you found me. And then we heard that awful conversation."

"So where do we go from here?"

"An afternoon where we do whatever it is women do to feel better."


	2. Chapter 2

"Remind me why we agreed to take your car home?"

"Because if Rossi thinks you're still in the building, he won't come looking for us."

"Oh, yes, that's right. Let's head to Sunshine Terrace for lunch. I am ravenous."

"That does sound yummy." Penelope pulled into traffic and was soon parking in the lot of the restaurant. "Shall we?"

Erin took the hand she held out and they walked inside. She didn't let go of Penelope's hand until they were seated in a secluded booth. "My life is a complete and utter disaster, Penelope. I should have listened to the unspoken rule of AA, no relationship until a year sober."

"You followed your heart. How long had it been since you did that? I would have jumped at the chance to be happy after everything you went through. And then the bastard tore your heart out and stomped it into the ground."

"Something like that, yes." Erin tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and rolled her eyes. "When you put it like that, it sounds kind of pathetic that I would let someone do that to me."

"Uh, no. He's the slimy bastard who broke your heart even after knowing that your husband cheated on you before he left you. God, I just want to punch the Italian rat jackass in the nose. And break it, hopefully. After I ruin his credit. I am more pissed now than I was last night."

Angry tears clouded the other woman's eyes and Erin reached across the table for her hand. She clasped it tightly until the tears had gone. "While I would like nothing more than to see you punch him, it wouldn't do any good. It wouldn't fix my heart."

"What would fix your heart?"

"I don't know. At this point, I think I'm done with men. They've done nothing but hurt me."

"Does that mean you're going to play for the other team?"

"You mean, am I going to be a lesbian now? I don't know. It's not really a choice, you're born gay or straight. But, I've always been somewhere in the middle of the Kinsey scale. Desiring both men and women. I want to find someone who won't break my heart this time, be it man or woman."

"Maybe we can go looking together. I still haven't moved on from Kevin. We can go out to coffee shops, clubs, art galleries, and I can scout out someone perfect for you and you can do the same for me."

They finished eating and Erin settled the bill. As they walked back out to the car, she held Penelope's hand again, the touch becoming quite natural to her. "You know, I could go for watching some movies this afternoon," she said as she got in the passenger seat of Penelope's car.

"That sounds lovely. Between my Netflix account and my personal collection, we should be able to find some things that we agree on. I have a few sappy romantic movies." Penelope smiled at her as their phones rang. Shaking her head, Erin pulled hers out and saw that Dave was trying to call her. She sent him straight to voicemail and from the corner of her eye, watched Penelope do the same. "Rossi?"

"Uh huh. Jennifer?"

"Yep. They do not let up, do they?" Erin shook her head slightly and settled back in the seat as Penelope drove them to her home. It felt good to climb the three sets of stairs, and she felt some of her anger melt away at the physical exertion. "Welcome to my home. You are one of the few who have been invited inside." She unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"This is lovely, Penelope." And really, it was. So different from her personal aesthetic, quirky and bold, just like the woman standing before her. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"You're welcome. Can I get you anything?"

"A glass of water would be nice." She sat on the couch, looking around the room at everything that marked who Penelope was. A canister of Super 8 film caught her eye and she picked it up, looking at the label.

"That's from my very first play at school. I was kind of terrible but cute. You don't want to watch that now, you want to see something professional. So, what strikes your fancy?"

" _The Proposal_?"

"Sounds like the perfect start to our afternoon." Penelope dug through her DVDs and pulled it out, loading it into the player. "Do you want popcorn now or later?"

"Later. I'm still full from lunch." Penelope nodded and pressed the play button on the remote before sitting next to Erin. She curled up into the woman, wanting the comfort she knew Penelope would offer. The other woman's arm came down around her shoulders, her thumb rubbing against her arm absently as they watched the movie.

When it had finished, she sat up and stretched. "What next?"

"You pick something. I have to use the bathroom."

"Through the closed door there." She nodded and stood, making her way over to the room. After she'd peed, she washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked awful, like death warmed over, and this brought fresh tears to her eyes.

Erin was about to go back out when she heard someone pound on the outer door. Her breath caught in her throat, and she listened carefully as Penelope got up and called out, "Who is it?"

The barrier of the door muffled the low voices, but she recognized the rumble of Dave and heard a higher pitched voice that she assumed was Agent Jareau. "She's not here!" Penelope cried out loudly minutes later. "And I'd like you to leave now. Do not make me call Hotch."

"What did she tell you?"

"Nothing, Jayje. She didn't need to." There was a moment of silence, and then the door slammed shut. Erin eased the bathroom door open and peeked out. "How much of that did you hear, Erin?"

"Just the end." She met Penelope's eyes, and saw that she was crying once more. "Oh, Penelope, I'm costing you your friends."

"No, you're not. Come here." Penelope opened her arms and Erin stepped forward, welcoming the embrace. "JJ is the one who chose to cheat on Will, and potentially destroy her family, and to so very deeply hurt you. I'm sorry."

Erin felt the dam burst on her feelings and she let herself cry once more that day. "I shouldn't let them get to me like this, you know. I am an adult; I should be in better control of my feelings."

"And I should be the queen of France." They settled back on the sofa and Erin nestled into the sanctuary of Penelope's arms. "I have to tell Hotch about this, don't I?"

"Not if you don't want to. I have the feeling they're going to keep harassing me until I make an appearance. I am not ready to face them. Does that make me a coward?"

"No, it makes you smart. We'll face them in the morning. After all, it'll be Friday, and we'll have the weekend in front of us. I wish Emily were here to talk to, she'd be able to make more sense of this."

Erin nodded and felt Penelope run her fingers through her hair. "I miss my hair."

"Why did you cut it?"

"Dave liked it shorter. I cut it to please him."

"Then will you grow it out to please me?"

"You're not my lover."

"No, but I want to be your friend. Friends can ask things of their friends. And I'm asking you to grow out your hair so that you'll be happy. And if you want my opinion, it looked best when it was just touching the middle of your shoulder blades and you put it up in a French twist." Erin sighed and nodded. "See, you even think I'm right. So, will you?"

"I suppose, for you." The phone ringing shattered their momentary peace and Erin recognized her ring tone. "That's me." She leaned forward and grabbed her purse off the floor, pulling out the device. "It's Aaron. Hello?" she asked as she answered.

"Erin, why is Dave calling me at all hours asking where you are? Is everything okay?" He sounded concerned and she smiled.

"Everything is fine, Aaron. We just broke up last night, and he's taking it rather hard. It seems that being exclusive means two different things to us. I'm sorry that he's bothering you so much, please tell him that I will speak to him tomorrow during our lunch hour."

"Morgan mentioned something about you being with Penelope. Is she taking care of you?"

"She's making sure I don't fall off the wagon, if that's what you're driving at. It's day two hundred eleven. While I am craving, I am still strong."

"Glad to hear that, Erin. I'll see you in the morning. And if you don't mind, I'll join you on that lunch meeting."

"That might be for the best. Thank you." She hung up and set her phone on the coffee table. "So, since Aaron's going to be there at lunch tomorrow, will you join me as well? That way Dave and I each have a friend going into this?"

"Certainly. Now, let's watch _Murder by Death_."

"Ooh, Peter Falk! Good choice." She made herself comfortable in Penelope's arms, not questioning why she felt so comfortable there. As she watched, she felt her eyes grow heavy, and her head slipped down to rest on Penelope's chest. The soft, giving, flesh pillowed her and she breathed in the heady scent of her perfume.

"No going to sleep just yet, Erin. You need to eat supper when this movie is finished and then we can watch one more before we go to sleep. You should get back on a regular sleep cycle, otherwise you are in for a world of pain tomorrow."

She nodded before nuzzling her face against Penelope's chest. Erin could hear the woman's sharp intake of breath and fleetingly wondered if she was the cause of that. Once the movie had finished, they got up and went into the kitchen. "So, what's on the menu tonight?"

"Broccoli and rice with a cheese sauce. There's not much in the pantry, I wasn't expecting company." She smiled apologetically and pulled out a head of the vegetable, handing it over to her. "Here, cut this up."

Erin found a knife and after cutting the rubber band that bound the stalks together, she washed it and then cut it up into little florets, adding it to the water on the stove. Penelope had already added the rice, and she set a lid on top of the pot so that it could boil. While the other woman cubed up a chunk of cheese, Erin began to open cupboard doors, looking for the plates. After finding them, she set the table and then leaned against the counter, watching Penelope.

"Penelope, if I asked, would you spend the weekend with me at the house?" she asked suddenly.

"Of course. That's what friends do. In the morning, I'll pack up a weekend bag and follow you home after work. Oh, and I know we're not the same size, but I'll make something from my closet work for you."

Erin smiled at her kindness, her heart lifting at the easy friendship she found with the woman. "Thank you, Penelope."


	3. Chapter 3

After supper, they washed the dishes and then meandered out to the living room. "So, one more movie tonight. Show me your favorite anime."

"Well, there's not time enough to watch the entirety of _Neon Genesis Evangelion_. However, we can watch _5 centimeters per second_." As Erin situated herself on the sofa, she dug out the disc and popped it into the DVD player.

As they watched, Erin found herself tearing up for no good reason, and once more, Penelope was there to comfort her, rubbing her arm softly as the gentle movie played out to its end. "That was beautiful, Penelope."

"I know, that's why it happens to be one of my favorites. Now, as for night clothes, I have negligees, nighties, t-shirts and boxers, or pajama sets. What would you prefer?"

"A knee-length nightie." She could feel her blush and looked away from Penelope.

Hearing commotion in the bedroom, she dared to look up and watched her friend pull out a few different nighties. "Here, take your pick. I'm going to go change in the bathroom, and wash my makeup off. Feel free to get changed and crawl into bed. I'll take the couch."

"We can share for one night," she blurted out before her internal filter kicked in and she pinched herself sharply. "I mean, I have a guest room at the house, and you shouldn't be uncomfortable because of me, even for one night. I promise, I won't feel you up during the night."

Penelope burst out laughing. "Fine, I'll sleep in the bed with you. I'm going to hold you to the no groping thing, though, sweetheart." She disappeared into the bathroom and Erin quickly stripped down to her panties. Going over to the bed, she picked out a sapphire blue nightie and pulled it on over her head. Yawning, she pulled back the covers and climbed into the bed, scooting over to the far side. She was half asleep by the time Penelope joined her, and so she did not protest the arm that draped over her waist, pulling her close.

In the morning, she woke up facing Penelope. Her face was so relaxed in sleep and before she could stop herself, she reached up and caressed her face. Blinking her eyes open, Penelope smiled at her. "Good morning, Erin." And then she leaned forward and kissed her softly.

"Penelope?"

"Sorry, sleep fog?"

Erin was a little disappointed at the quick response and she nodded in response. "We should probably get a move on. Do you mind if I take a shower this morning?"

"That would be fine. I'll find you something to wear while you're in there. Do you want waffles for breakfast?"

"Sure." She got up out of bed and made her way over to the bathroom. Shedding the nightgown, she stuck it in the hamper and shimmied out of her panties. There was nothing to be done about her underwear, and she prayed that no one would notice her going without them that day. Sighing, she also threw them in the hamper and then stepped into the shower.

The warm water poured down on her and she relished the feel of it. Picking up the loofah, she poured some soap on it and lathered up. As she was washing it off, she heard the door open and close. It was a bit odd, but she shrugged, beginning to wash her hair. She smelled like Penelope and she found she loved that.

Finally turning the water off, she stepped out and grabbed the towel off the rack, wrapping it around her body. As she wrapped another one around her head, she noticed that a fresh toothbrush had been set out along with makeup and a comb. At the end of the counter was a set of clothing, her bra on top. After she was made up for the day, she dressed, noticing that the woman had tried to account for her personal tastes in the clothes that she had picked out. The navy skirt had a drawstring that she pulled tight, keeping the white blouse tucked in.

Finally, she opened the door and stepped out. Breathing in deeply, she smelled bacon and eggs. "I thought you had gone the vegan way," she said as she took a seat at the kitchen table.

"I have, mostly. I just can't seem to give up bacon." She set a plate in front of Erin and took a seat across from her. "I charged your phone up, you have about fifteen voicemails from Rossi and Jayje. And there are some texts from them as well."

"Did you look at them?"

Penelope blushed and looked down at her plate. "Yes. Sorry. I saw my name in one and had to know what they were asking of you and why my name was coming up. Rossi thinks we're sleeping together."

"Well, we just did, only not in the way that he means." Penelope giggled and dug into her food. "Seriously though, Penelope, is he going to make trouble for you?"

"I won't let him make trouble for either of us. I've already taken the liberty of forwarding the texts to my phone and will be letting the Director know of the harassment. They are not going to push us around, just because they want to be free to screw each other."

"No, we talked about that, Penelope. Just use the threat of going to the Director against them. We cannot expose Henry to that Hell." She felt her eyes tear up and she bent her head to focus on her food.

"Sweetheart, why does this affect you so? It has to be more than just your breakup with your ex. Your children are all older and can make their own decisions. Who hurt you?"

"That obvious, huh? My parents divorced when I was four, and my father got custody. They always fought until he moved me here to America. I don't even know if my mother is alive or dead, we haven't had contact since we moved."

"Erin…" She could hear that the former anger had dissipated from Penelope's voice and she looked up to see that she was tearing up as well. "If you want, I can track down that information for you, once we get to work today."

"Thank you." Erin reached out for her hand. "That may actually save this horrible day. I don't know if I'm ready to face him, even with you and Hotch there."

Penelope nodded and they finished eating. Erin closed her eyes as Penelope put the dishes in the washer. The room fell silent, but she still didn't open her eyes. Then, she felt lips softly press against her forehead and her face relaxed into a smile. "Think about that when you feel a little too tense this afternoon."

Erin just sighed, trying not to shake her head. This was entirely too weird, even if some tiny portion of her heart was saying to let it play out, to let Penelope take the lead and perhaps heal her wounded heart. "One more for courage, then." Her boldness shocked her and she tried not to lean into Penelope's lips as they covered hers in a sweet kiss.

"Let's get a move on." She helped her up and Erin picked up her purse from off the counter. Penelope slung a large duffle over her shoulder and followed her out, locking the door behind them. As they got settled in the car, Erin changed the radio, setting up her own station on Pandora by typing in the title of her favorite song – 'If Love Were All'. "What, you don't like my music?"

"No, I just want to hear something that will calm me down. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I was just teasing you." Penelope pulled out of her complex and drove to the office. Erin found herself watching her friend, taking in the way she hummed along with the songs she knew. "What are you thinking about?"

"What I'm going to say to him. What am I going to say to him? I detest him now, Penelope. This is why you don't get involved with a colleague, it never ends well."

"That is true, look at me and Kevin. But, sometimes they work out. Right?"

"I've yet to see one that has. It doesn't mean I can't be proven wrong." She found herself biting her lip, a habit she thought she'd abandoned in high school, watching Penelope's face.

"I hope that you are." The other woman smiled gently and she smiled in return. She tried not to think about the signals she was giving Penelope.

She was surprised when Penelope parked next to her own car, but figured it would be easier to follow her home that way. They got out and Penelope came up to her side. "Yes?"

"Nothing. I just want to walk next to you, be a buffer against the people who will point and stare." She sighed. "I wish I could hold your hand. That always sets my heart at ease."

"Maybe tonight we can hold hands, after supper." Her breath caught in her throat and Penelope smiled, quickly bumping hips with her. They got on the elevator and rode up to their floor. As soon as they stepped off, Dave was at her side.

"We need to talk."

"We will, at lunch today. Aaron and Penelope will be there as well, to referee. There is nothing more I have to say to you at the moment." She felt cold to the core, barely registering Penelope's hand on her upper arm.

"Dammit, Erin, we need to talk, alone." He roughly grabbed hold of her other arm, tugging her closer to him and she hissed in pain.

"Let go of me."

"No."

"David, you will let go of her, now." Erin looked up into Aaron's hard gaze and shivered a little. "Obviously, this cannot wait until lunch time. Follow me." He roughly pushed Dave forward and she hung back with Penelope.

"Are you okay?"

"I think so, Penelope. It will probably bruise, I have tender skin." The other woman frowned and she shook her head. "No. I know what is going through that lovely mind of yours and no."

"But –"

"No."

"Yes, Ma'am." They followed Aaron into his office and she took a seat on the couch. Penelope sat next to her and Aaron pulled two chairs over.

"Sit, David. Now, we are going to work this out like mature adults. Dave, Erin told me yesterday that you broke up with her. Are you saying this is not true?"

"No, I have no idea what I did to make her act like this." Penelope snorted. "Do you have something to add to the conversation, Kitten?"

"First, never call me Kitten again. Ever. And second, I heard you Thursday morning with your blonde floozy outside Erin's office. I'd say that's pretty clear evidence that you broke up with her, but not before breaking her heart. Couldn't you keep it in your pants, you jackass?"

Erin restrained Penelope with a soft hand on her upper arm. "He's not worth it, Penny. He was never worth what my heart wanted to give him. I'm just sorry that I didn't see this sooner." She smiled sadly at her friend. "And I am not craving a single drop of alcohol."

"That is amazing, Erin." Penelope gripped her hand tightly. "Are we finished here?"

"I just need to ask one more thing. Do you know who I was with that night?"

"No, David, I didn't recognize her." He nodded and stood, stalking from the room.

"You're lying, Erin. Why?" She looked up into Aaron's eyes once more, and shrugged. Penelope ran her hand down to clasp Erin's, and she squeezed back, needing the contact. "Is there something the two of you know that you should tell me?"

"I cannot say anything, Aaron, I'm sorry." He cocked his head, his eyes narrowing. "If I could tell you, I would. There's more at stake here than just our professional relationship. Please trust my admittedly bad judgment in this particular case. Please?"

"I'm going to have to, Erin." She nodded tightly and left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

The day had been uneventful, Erin thought as she closed down her computer and picked up her purse. Aside from Dave trying to break into her sanctuary at noon. Helen, her ever faithful assistant, had had Aaron come down and escort him out and then Penelope had brought them lunch. It had been a welcome relief.

"Have a good night, Chief Strauss!" Helen called out as she left the office.

"You too, Helen," she replied, turning back to wave at her. She met Penelope at the elevators and they rode down together. "How was the rest of your afternoon?"

"It went. JJ isn't talking to me."

"But she's your best friend."

"Correction, my best friend is Derek. She's the mother of my godchild." They stepped inside the elevator and rode down to the parking garage. "I'm just going to follow you home, then." Before Erin could protest, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

"We can't do this," she murmured as they walked towards their cars.

"Do what? In case you haven't noticed in the eight years we've worked together, I tend to be very demonstrative with my affection. You're a friend who is in need of comfort. If I wanted you, I'd be shoving my tongue down your throat. Has that happened yet?" Erin shook her head. "Then there's nothing to worry about."

"I suppose." She tried to ignore the pounding of her heart, the signals her body was giving out, as she slid behind the wheel of her car. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out and slowly drove home. After pulling into her garage, she turned off the car and buried her face in her hands. "God help me, I want her. This has to be some sort of rebound infatuation," she murmured, hoping her prayer would be answered with some sense of what to do, and soon.

Getting out, she went inside and made her way to the front door. Penelope was standing on the porch, looking around at the flowers and hanging baskets there. "I love the flowers, Erin. This reminds me of home."

Again, she felt herself blush and motioned Penelope inside. "Gardens are something I can control. Aaron once said that I need to have control in my life, and he was quite right. After all, look at what throwing caution to the wind did for me."

"You gained a friend. That's not nothing, right?"

The brilliant smile warmed Erin's heart and she nodded. "Of course you're right, Penelope. A friend is not nothing." She made her way over to the answering machine and noticed that the light was blinking. There were three new messages, and she listened to her ex-husband ask her if he could have Samantha for longer, seeing as how his mother wasn't doing well. She pulled out her cell and quickly texted him, letting him know that would be fine. The other two were from Dave and Jennifer and she quickly rushed through them, deleting them off the machine.

"If they keep harassing you, I will take matters into my own hands. I won't stand for this."

"I'll be fine, Penny. I promise." She just arched an eyebrow at her. "Really. Now, let me show you to the guest room and you can put your bag down." She led her upstairs and opened the door across the hall from her bedroom. "Here you go."

Penelope set her bag on the bed and then turned to look at her. "May I have an official tour?"

"I guess." The woman grinned and grabbed hold of her hand. "Come on." She led her to the bathroom. "Feel free to use any of the bath products, my girls won't mind."

"All right." Her hand was so warm, and Erin adjusted how their hands were entwined, not wanting to feel like she was being overwhelmed. Even though she was.

"And this is my bedroom." They stepped inside, and Erin slipped her feet out of her heels, losing several inches to the other woman. "Would you mind if I changed into something a little more comfortable?"

"Go right ahead." Penelope sat on the bed, not taking the subtle hint to leave, and Erin took a deep breath. Opening her closet, she pulled out a thin summer sweater and quickly shrugged out of the blouse she'd borrowed. Tugging the sweater on, she moved over to her dresser and took out a pair of jeans. Erin decided to pull them on under the skirt, remembering at the last moment she wasn't wearing any panties. Once they were zipped, she let the skirt pool on the floor before picking both articles of clothing up and handing them to Penelope.

"Or do you want me to wash them?"

"No, you only wore them for a few hours." Erin sat next to her on the bed and then flopped back, staring up at the ceiling. "What is it?"

"A severe case of 'I just want to curl up on this bed and sleep for days since I can't drink any fucking alcohol and numb this whole episode from my life'. But that is not very proactive, is it?"

Penelope shook her head before reclining next to her. "But if it would make your heart feel better, maybe you should do just that. Fall asleep right now and wake up in the morning refreshed and renewed."

"Maybe," she replied as she felt Penelope's hand run down her arm and clasp her hand once more. Erin turned onto her side and looked at her friend. "You do realize I'm just looking for a friend right now. I need time to heal from this betrayal, Penny, even if there is the desire here." She lifted the woman's hand to her heart and softly covered it.

"And I'd rather have a relationship start with the firm foundation of friendship." A warm, understanding, smile spread across her lips and Erin released the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. "Besides, we need to make sure you're not doing the rebound bounce."

A soft laugh burst forth from her lips and she shook her head. "Can you read minds, as well?"

"No," Penelope replied. "I just know that rebound romances rarely work." She closed the distance between them, touching foreheads with her. A great yawn swept through Erin and she snuggled close to Penelope, craving the warmth she offered. "Sleep now, we'll talk some more when we wake up."

Erin nodded and let her eyes close heavily. Sleep was a welcome companion and she ran to its arms. When she woke up, she was still in Penelope's arms, and she fought not to arch into her. "What time is it?" she asked softly, seeing that Penelope was watching her.

"A little after eight. In the morning. We slept the whole night through."

"Really?"

Penelope nodded and sat up, helping her to sit up. "So, what do you have for breakfast?"

"Cereal. I don't eat much in the morning, and a box of cereal is more economical than throwing away perishables all the time." She looked over at her friend and smiled lazily. "I suppose we should get up and eat something."

"Yes." They got out of bed and Erin stepped into her bathroom, quickly peeing and then washing her hands and face. The kitchen was still empty when she got there, and so she pulled out two bowls and the box of cereal.

"I only drink whole milk, I hope that doesn't bother you," she said as she heard Penelope's footfalls behind her.

"That will be fine. I'll grab it from the fridge." Their breakfast was short, and Erin found herself smiling for no reason at all. "So, what do we do about our situation at work?"

"I really don't know. I might have to end up transferring out to another section in the BAU."

"That might not be a bad idea. The frat rules would be different then." Erin nodded. "Why would JJ do this to Will and Henry? I thought they were happy together. Out of all of us in the team, she always had the most stable relationship."

"Sometimes, when we appear happiest, we're really drowning. But I don't know why she would have chosen to cheat on Will. Has he ever stifled her, made her feel like she was a bad mother?"

"Not that I know of. When she was pregnant with Henry, he wanted her to go back to Quantico. I think he was really worried about her, seeing as how we had no idea what was going on. But truth be told, I didn't think he was in the wrong. If it had been her car that had the bomb under it, she would have miscarried."

Erin nodded and cleaned up their bowls. "I'm sorry, but I am going to be a bad hostess. I'm in the middle of _A Game of Thrones_ and was planning on using this weekend to finish it."

"That's okay. I need to catch up on my email and blog. Can I borrow your laptop?"

"Certainly, just follow me into the living room." They made their way there and Erin handed over the device. As Penelope got settled on the couch, she grabbed her book from the coffee table and curled up next to her.

Erin managed to make it through about a hundred pages before growing restless. "What is it?"

"I'm bored. I want to go for a walk."

"All right." Penelope rested the computer on the coffee table and turned to look at her. "Around the block?"

Erin nodded and stood. "I think I have an extra pair of tennis shoes. If they're the right size, you can wear them."

"Eight wide?" She nodded and Penelope grinned. "Perfect!" Shaking her head, Erin went out to the coat closet and grabbed the shoes. Thrusting the extra pair at Penelope, she tugged hers on and tied the laces. "I'm ready."

"That was quick."

"Getting changed is the one thing I'm quick at. Well, that and stealing kisses." She leaned forward and pecked at Erin's cheek "Let's go, time's wasting."

Together, they went outside, and Erin tucked her keys in her pocket. She set a slow, leisurely pace, breathing in the smells of summer. As they went on, she reached out for Penelope's hand, wanting the contact. Penelope threaded their fingers together and she smiled dreamily.

By the time they got back to the house, Erin felt a little more at peace with leaving Dave. "What did I ever see in him?" she asked suddenly as she let them in the door.

"He is suave and charming."

"And he's slept with who knows how many women. Thank God I always insisted he wear a condom. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would have been if I have picked up an STI from him?" She rubbed her temple. "I think I'm going to cry again. I cannot believe I managed to fuck up my life this badly."

Penelope guided her into the living room, helping her to sit on the sofa. "Okay, tell me again where you are in your sobriety."

"I'm on day two hundred thirteen."

"Does that sound like someone who is currently fucking up their life? Because it sure doesn't to me. And you know what? Dave was so your rebound romance from your husband. Frak it, I am so doing this." Leaning forward, she kissed Erin passionately.

Erin felt herself returning the kiss before pulling away. Carefully, she placed her fingers against Penelope's lips. "Be that as it may, I still want to wait. Foundations, remember?" Penelope nodded and rested her head on Erin's shoulder.

"Foundations."


	5. Chapter 5

Monday morning, Erin stretched as she woke up. Downstairs, she could smell breakfast cooking and she let out a deep sigh. Climbing out of bed, she made her way into the bathroom and took a quick shower.

After pulling on a crisp navy linen suit, she made her way downstairs and stepped into the kitchen. "Good morning, Penelope."

"Good morning, Erin. A bouquet of flowers just arrived for you. Three guesses as to who they're from."

"I only need one, what with the way you're grimacing. What did the card say?"

"Sit, eat, I'll read it to you." Penelope cleared her throat as she set a plate down in front of Erin. Taking a seat next to her, she picked up the card and began to read. "Dearest Erin, I've used this weekend to think about the state of our relationship. I was wrong to cheat on you, especially with her. I forgive you for yelling at me, please say that you'll take me back. Ever and always, your Dave."

Erin burst into a fit of giggles as she speared a piece of egg. "Does he seriously believe I'm going to buy that?"

"I think so. Doesn't he know that he's already lost you?" Erin smiled as she swallowed her bite of food.

"He has lost me, to a younger person." Penelope blushed slightly and bent her head over her plate, picking at her food. "What?"

"I don't know. I just find you adorable and I worry that even though I want this to move fast, it will move too fast, and I'll lose this chance at happiness. I just want to be deliriously happy, you know?"

"I do." Erin reached out and Penelope clasped her hand tightly. "We will make this work somehow. First as friends, then as…more."

"Exactly what I'm hoping. So, do you want to head out to supper tonight after work? Get to know each other a little better?"

"I wish I could, but I have an AA meeting tonight. Tell you what, come have lunch in my office with Helen and myself. We could make it a thing, every Monday."

"That sounds nice. Kevin and I always had date night on Tuesday. What is the best night for you?"

"Fridays, actually. Alan has time with Samantha from Friday after school until Tuesday morning. We figured this would work the best, since I found that the Monday meeting is made up of people that I can actually stand."

"That is really important, if you want to get better." Penelope smiled at her kindly. "When will I get to meet your children?"

"In a few weeks, perhaps. I have to introduce them to the idea that I've fallen for a woman this time around. I'm not too certain how they'll take it, as they've only ever known me with men." She reached across her table for Penelope's hand. "Is that all right with you?"

"Perfectly. I want you to be comfortable with everything, Erin. I know this is rather sudden for both of us, you'll be my first woman, too, and we have to grow accustomed to the things that make us different as well as the same. The things that make you absolutely adorable." Penelope ran her thumb along the back of Erin's hand. "There's so much I don't know about you."

"Just like I don't know that much about you. Other than what Aaron has written in his yearly reviews."

"Ooh, care to fill me in?"

"Unfortunately, I can't. They are considered classified. Though the gist of them is that you are more than capable of doing your job and that you are an absolutely lovely woman to work with." She smiled at her and then let go of her hand, standing up to put the dishes in the washer. "My meeting gets out at eight, and I'm home by half past. If you wanted to call me."

"That would be nice. I'll put your numbers in my phone at lunchtime." She nodded as Penelope stood up as well, coming up to her side. "Are you ready to head in?"

"As I'll ever be." The woman smiled at her and reached out, tugging on the tips of her hair. "So, what would you like for lunch? Helen can order us food from any restaurant you'd like."

"There's this French bistro downtown that I absolutely love. But can you really get take out from a place like that?"

"I'm a Section Chief with the FBI, I have a bit of pull. There's not a lot of time I can get away for lunches, sometimes I have meetings, or too much work to do. Or sometimes, I have friends in my office and don't want to take time to run out and get something." Penelope grinned and then leaned forward. This time, Erin anticipated the kiss, meeting her halfway. It was soft and sweet, and she sighed when they pulled away from each other.

"Those sweet kisses are going to keep me intoxicated all morning long, Erin." Penelope licked her lips quickly before giving her another quick kiss. "In the very best way," she murmured, caressing her cheek.

"Foundations, my dear." Erin smirked as she reached out and cupped one of Penelope's breasts, squeezing gently.

"Oh, that is so not fair, Erin! Why do you get to cop a feel and I'm stuck with kisses?"

She shrugged, going over to the counter and picking up her purse and keys. "Just giving you something to think about until lunch, dearest." She sashayed out the door to the garage and smiled as she heard Penelope groan, following her out. Erin locked the house and opened the garage door, climbing into her car. Penelope stepped out into the drive and got into her own car, driving off as Erin backed out.

She followed her soon to be lover the entire way in, trying to keep her mind occupied on the day ahead and not on the way Penelope's lips felt against hers, the way her hair smelled, the way she felt in her arms. They parked next to each other and Erin waited for Penelope to join her at her side before they made their way in the building.

They rode the elevator up in silence, Erin keenly aware of the other people in the car. Instead of speaking with her, she stood as close as she possibly dared to the other woman, letting the back of their hands brush as the elevator continued on its way. Penelope took the hint and began to deliberately knock her hand about. A deep smile spread across her face, and she began to hum a little.

By the time they reached the sixth floor, she wanted nothing more than to go home and snuggle with Penelope in their bed. Catching Penelope's eye, she was almost certain the other woman could read her mind as she nodded at her. "I'll see you at lunchtime with those reports, Chief Strauss."

"Sounds good." They parted ways and Erin fought not to turn around and watch Penelope disappear into the bullpen. _Here I am, moonstruck over a woman fifteen years younger than I am. There has to be something in the air about her_ , she thought as she stepped into her office. "Good morning, Helen."

"Good morning, Erin. You have two messages already, one from Agent Rossi, and the other from Agent Jareau. Oh, and you are going to hate your office, I'm warning you now."

"Why? What happened?" She narrowed her eyes at her assistant and rested on the edge of the woman's desk, wanting to know what was up.

"It seems as if a whole flower shop was delivered to you. I had to help the man unload the arrangements from his cart. Agent Hotchner came in a helped a little, too." Erin buried her face in her hand. "He's going to be by in a little bit to discuss the elephant in the room."

"Send him in as soon as you see him. And hold all my calls unless they're from Penelope." Helen nodded, a bright smile on her lips, and Erin went into her office. She was overwhelmed by the scent of all those flowers and just shook her head. "Overkill never got you anywhere, David." Sighing, she plucked all the cards from the bouquets and brought them over to her desk.

She didn't even bother to read what he'd written, instead tossing the stack in the trashcan next to her desk. A sharp tapping on her door had her looking up at Agent Hotchner and she beckoned him inside. "Good morning, Erin. How are you enjoying your greenhouse?"

"They're cloying, Aaron. Would you please let him know that such displays are not going to win him any points. I'm with Penelope now." She watched his eyes widen and realized exactly what she had said. "We're just friends at the moment, though. She wants more, and so do I, but I want to build up a tight friendship first. Dave and I gave ourselves over to passion only, and look how that turned out. Him cheating on me, behind my back."

Aaron nodded sympathetically, resting his hand on her upper arm. "How did you catch him?"

"I went to his house last Wednesday. I knew that he would be bothered by the case you had just finished and wanted to comfort him. Up until that point, we had just stuck to hotel rooms. I guess I know why, now." To her horror, her eyes welled up and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"And how did Penelope get caught up in this all? She's about ready to wring his neck. And JJ is upset with her, too."

Erin sighed. "She found me here that night. Without hesitation, she became my friend. And once we're on solid ground, we will be an exclusive couple. Even if we never live together, or get married. I respect her boundaries, even if Mr. Lynch couldn't."

"Oh, Erin." They both looked up into Penelope's smiling face and Erin felt herself smile back. "He's looking for you, Hotch. I think he wants to know how the flowers went over. Tell him that Erin already has a garden of living flowers, she doesn't need anything dead."

He nodded and switched places with Penelope. "We have the profile to draw up for Kansas City at ten. I'll see you then?" Penelope nodded and he left the room.

"All right, so I'm a little early for lunch, but I heard him bragging to Jayje that this would be sure to bring you back to him and keep your mouth shut. God, is he really that conceited to think simple flowers will fix what he destroyed?"

"I think he is, Penelope. Do you see any of these that you like? I'm not going to throw them away just because they're from him." She looked around at the profusion and wondered how everything could have gone to Hell so quickly.

"I think I'll take this one, with the birds of paradise flowers." Penelope picked up the vase and came over to her side. "I'll be back after we do the profile. It usually takes two hours when we're just doing a consult."

Erin nodded, going over to her desk. "I'll try to make it through until then. Aaron knows that you're fighting with Jennifer. He's noticed the tension already. You need to work at being nice." She saw that Penelope was getting ready to interrupt her. "No, honey, I mean it. It is going to suck and hurt, but you need to be the bigger person in this situation and pretend like everything is fine."

Penelope nodded slowly, frowning a little. "Fine, but I want an incentive."

"Of course." Erin stood beside her desk and waited, knowing a little of how Penelope's mind worked. The woman crossed the room in a few easy strides, stopping next to her. Erin let her eyes close as she waited, and soon she felt those soft lips against hers once more. She returned the kiss hesitantly, letting her hand cup the back of Penelope's head as she held her there, loving the taste of the woman.

"That was a lovely incentive. I'm sure I can get along with Jayje for an entire week now." Penelope sashayed from the room, and Erin sat behind her desk, trying to find the focus to do her work.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm heading out to pick up lunch. I should be back in about fifteen minutes." Erin looked up from the current case file she was reviewing and smiled at her assistant. "I still can't believe that you managed to get Patisserie Amie to cater to go meals for three."

"I have a bit of pull, Helen. And when you go pick it up, tell them that this will be a standing order for every Monday."

Helen nodded and left her office, closing the door behind her. Erin settled back in her chair, staring up at her ceiling. It had been a good morning, no interruptions from Dave or Jennifer, no emails from them, just her and her work. God, she missed losing herself in the minutiae of paperwork, looking at what was revealed about her agents in their reports. She knew exactly where their educational focus had been based on the way they wrote and how they viewed both the unsubs and the victims by the words they used to describe the situation. Oh, she knew that Aaron had tried to drill into his team the need to be impartial, that good profilers didn't make judgments, but still, their personal biases snuck through.

"Knock, knock." She looked up and smiled at Penelope, beckoning her inside. "How's your day been?"

"Somewhat relaxing. I managed to get through about a quarter of the backlog on my desk, so that's good."

"You find paperwork relaxing?" Erin nodded. "Oh, honey, we have to get you out more." She plopped down on the sofa, tucking her feet up under her.

"I've always been a bit of a bookworm, Penelope. Sorry?"

"Never be sorry for who you are." Penelope stood in a rush and came over to her side, kneeling and kissing her cheek softly. "I was just teasing."

"I know." She sighed as her cheek was kissed once more, pushing back from the desk as Penelope stood. Erin followed her back over to the sofa and sat next to her. "Helen will be back in just a little bit. I told her to make it a standing order for us every Monday."

"You don't mind the implications of that?"

"Why should I? We're colleagues, for the moment, and soon it will be more. Dave has lunch with colleagues all the time." She paused before continuing, "I may have let it slip to Aaron that we are in the beginning stages of a relationship. He needed to know."

Penelope nodded and reached out for Erin's hand. She clasped it tightly before interlacing their fingers. "I'm glad he knows. Maybe this way he can keep tabs out for us. I was thinking, what better revenge would it be if you were to stay our Section Chief _and_ be my lover? It would drive Rossi mad and there wouldn't be anything he could do about it. Plus, there's nothing really vindictive in that, is there?"

Erin sat back, pulling Penelope's hand across her body to rest on her stomach. "No, there's not, actually. The best revenge is a life well lived, right?" Penelope nodded and scooted closer to her, spooning her body to fit around hers. "I'm just concerned about the video footage that might be used against us, should either of them get angry."

"I'll take care of that, Erin. Certain gaps will never be noticed, nor will the fact that looped footage has been added in certain areas. And we're not going to do anything more than kiss here. I'm not one for public displays of affection, really. And the office is too public for my liking at times." Erin nodded and rested her head on Penelope's shoulder. "Though I might have to go against my previously held convictions and kiss you a lot in public. I've fallen in love with your kisses already."

She was unsurprised when Penelope turned her head and kissed the top of her head softly. "Maybe if we fall in love with parts of each other first, loving the whole will be natural. There are a lot of things about me that you might find unlovable." Erin tightened her grip on Penelope's hand, wondering if she had revealed too much to the other woman.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Wait until we've had our first argument before you say something like that. I know I can be a bitch." Penelope let go of her hand and reached up to place her fingers on her lips.

"Don't call yourself that, please. You might have an iron backbone, or ovaries of steel, and that's okay." Erin smiled against the fingers and then gently kissed them. "You are going to be absolutely wonderful to get to know. And I can't wait for our first fight."

"And why is that?"

"I get to find out what kind of makeup sex to expect. Kevin was kinda sad in that department, unfortunately. All weeping and apologizing and sloppy kisses." She felt Penelope shudder slightly and laughed a little.

"I never wept during sex, except from pleasure. Rossi knew how to do this most amazing thing with his tongue, I can't even begin to describe it. Or at least, not here. Too many people could overhear things I don't want them to."

Penelope nodded and sat up. Erin found that she missed the contact of her body. "I know how to do a few fun things with my tongue, too. But Helen's coming, that will have to wait."

Erin blushed at the mental picture Penelope evoked and straightened her jacket as Helen walked in the door. "The restaurant was packed! I was surprised I got the food so quickly." She set two bags down on the oval table that dominated one corner of her office. "Have a good lunch, ladies." The assistant left the room, closing the door behind her as they got up and headed for the table.

"Would you like some water?" Penelope nodded and Erin opened the drawer that had once held her liquor bottles. In their place was now an assortment of different brands of water. "Fiji, Evian, or Pennine Spring?"

"Ooh, I've never heard of Pennine Spring. I'd like a bottle of that, please." Erin nodded and pulled out two bottles, handing one to Penelope. She cracked the seal of her bottle and took a sip, enjoying the taste of the British water. Most people would swear she was insane, but she could tell the differences between different waters. There was just a certain taste that each had. "Now you said that you'll be home about half past eight, right? I just don't want to miss my opportunity of talking to you."

"Uh huh. I don't know what sort of a mood I'll be in when I answer, but I will pick up for you. Meetings tend to take a lot out of me." She bent her head over her food and picked at it, waiting for Penelope to say something.

"Sometimes, my group meetings take a lot out of me, too. It is hard to deal with the feelings that are dredged up by other people's stories at times. I'm going to want to hear your story, when you're ready. And you may ask to hear mine at any time, though not over the phone." Penelope reached out and touched her hand. "I want to tell you everything."

Erin nodded, feeling her emotions knotting up in her chest. "Maybe that will be our first order of business, then." They finished eating and Erin went back over to the couch, bringing her water with her. "We still have thirty minutes."

Penelope nodded and sat down next to her. "This is going to sound really dumb, but I could stay here all day, just listening to you. You have this presence about you that amazes me. I never saw that, before." She threw an arm around Erin's waist just as Helen's phone rang. They both fell silent as they waited to see if they would be interrupted.

Sure enough, moments later Helen burst into her office. "Erin, I tried to tell him you were busy, that you were in a lunch meeting. He wouldn't listen."

"Who?"

"Agent Rossi. He'll be here in seconds."

Erin nodded tightly, pulling away from Penelope. "There's no way for you to get back to your office. I'm sorry that you'll have to see this."

Penelope just cuddled into her, ignoring Helen's bug-eyed look. "He can stuff it."

"You heard Penelope. He can stuff it." Helen nodded anxiously and scurried out of the room. It didn't take long for her to hear the heavy footfalls of her former lover and she took a deep breath to shore herself up. Penelope rubbed her stomach quickly before sitting up and smiling at her. "Yes, David? What did you need?"

He blanched a little, taking in how closely together they sat. "You never responded to my flowers. Usually I hear from you before this. Didn't you like them?"

"A better question is didn't you listen to Hotch? She doesn't need anything dead, especially not from you. You broke her heart, you rat fink."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I don't remember asking you anything, Kitten."

"And another thing, I told you to never call me that again, especially not with who you're fucking. Now, what do you want?"

"I want my girlfriend to forgive me." Erin took in his countenance, noticing that his contrition never quite reached his eyes.

"It will be a cold day in Hell before that ever happens. Please leave now, before I call Aaron and have him take you out of here." She sighed, shaking her head. "Anything I once felt for you lays in the ashes of my heart. First Alan betrayed me, and then you." A few tears began to fall down her cheeks and she swiped them away.

"Erin, it won't happen again, I promise."

"No, David, it will happen again. You brought her to your home, someplace you had never taken me. That means you're more serious about her than you want to admit. Just think of the child, I beg of you."

Penelope clasped her hand tightly as they stared down Rossi. Finally, he nodded and turned on his heel, closing the door forcefully behind him. Erin collapsed against Penelope, letting herself cry as she released the tension she had held in. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know. I should probably call my sponsor…"

"You're craving. Oh god, Erin, talk to me."

She took a shaky breath. "I want to drink this day away. You've been so sweet this weekend, looking out for me, talking to me, that I feel like I'm letting you down by admitting this failing in me."

"Do you realize that I admire you for being so honest?" Penelope reached up and cupped her cheek gently. "I don't know what to say to make this better, I've never been addicted to anything. This was supposed to be a happy lunch."

Erin nodded. "I have to call Anne. I'm sorry, but this needs to be a private call right now, we're not as close as I'd like us to be before I let you in to this part of my life."

Penelope nodded and then leaned close to her. Erin turned her head and kissed her gently. "I'll be waiting for you, when you're ready to let me in. I'll call you tonight, Erin."

As she stood, all Erin could do was nod, wanting desperately to let Penelope in further, and wanting just as desperately to protect her heart from further hurt. "I'll be looking forward to that call."


	7. Chapter 7

"I broke up with my boyfriend over the weekend." Erin began without preamble, wanting to get to the heart of the matter with her group. "He was cheating on me, and I caught him at it."

The others in the group nodded. "Did you slip?" Carri asked, biting her lip nervously. Erin knew they were in a somewhat similar position, having both broken the one year of abstinence rule.

"No, thank God. I have a very lovely friend who managed to find me at my office on Friday. She took care of me over the weekend, and now, we're kind of attached at the hip. Tragedy has really turned into something beautiful in this case." The others nodded, and she took a deep breath, locking eyes with Carri. "We're open to the idea of beginning a relationship, though, once the dust of all this settles. Men hold little appeal for me now that I've lost two companions to someone else."

The leader looked at her, she could feel his eyes on her. "That would not be wise, Erin. You are most likely confused about your life right now." Erin was strangely hurt by his assertion and frowned at the man. This was a really disappointing turn of events, as she had just become comfortable with this group.

Nodding sharply, she sat back in her chair and listened to the others speak. When the session was over, she jumped up and fairly fled from the room. Carri was hot at her heels, though, and stopped her by her car. "Don't listen to Mitch. He's just being an old stick in the mud. You can love whoever you want to love, just because he doesn't like gay people shouldn't affect you. I hope this doesn't keep you away from group, though."

Erin sighed. "I don't know that yet, Carri. I have to feel support from you all, too, and when I'm getting flak already for something like this, it makes me wary. Here, take my card." She pulled one of the small business cards out of her purse and gave it to the young woman. "I would like to keep in touch with you, even if I don't come back here."

Carri nodded and then hugged her quickly. "I'll talk to you later, Erin. Have a good night."

She nodded as she got in her car, driving off into the night. When she got home the first thing she did, after kicking off her heels, was call Penelope. "Hey, Erin, what's up? I thought I was going to call you?"

"Plans changed. Are you free?"

"For you, of course I am. Give me twenty minutes?"

"Could you make it fifteen?"

"I'll try. I'm heading out the door as we speak."

Erin nodded and sighed. "Thank you, Penny." They hung up and Erin made her way into the living room, sitting heavily on the sofa. The minutes ticked by and all she could do was sit there, hugging herself as she thought about what she was doing, where she was going. The soft knocking at her door startled her and she got up, crossing the distance between her and Penelope in a few quick strides.

Only, it wasn't her standing there when she opened the door. "Mitch? What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"You gave Carri your card; I just borrowed it from her." He pushed past her into the room, and she felt a shiver of fear run down her spine.

"I'll thank you to leave, Mitch. Now." Her voice shook, which upset her, and she kept her eye on him as she made her way over to the table that had her gun. Making slow, deliberate movements, she tried not to raise his suspicions.

"I don't think I can do that, Erin. You've already made one mistake, I won't let you make another." She reached out to open the drawer where she kept her weapon and he noticed the movement, reaching out and grabbing hold of her wrist tightly, pulling her against him. The fear grew in her, fueling her adrenaline, and she began to struggle, trying to get away from him.

She barely felt the heavy blow to her head as she tried to sink her teeth into any part of him that she could reach. The hand around her throat, though, had her stiffening in fear. With his free hand, he reached under her skirt and began to tug at her panties. Erin went limp, not bothering to fight what was happening to her any longer. And then she heard Penelope's sweet voice. "What the fuck do you think you're doing to her?"

Mitch's movements stilled as he looked up at the other woman. "What do you think you're doing here?"

"Saving my friend, jackass." Erin watched her reach into her purse and pull out a can of mace. As Penelope sprayed the can in Mitch's eyes, she scrambled out from underneath him and picked up the phone, quickly dialing 911.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"I've just been attacked in my home." She hated how scared she sounded and tried to draw in a deep, calming breath. "He, we, my friend maced him, but…"

"I have a police car on the way, Ma'am. Are you in any immediate danger?"

"I don't know. He's screaming in pain, from the mace. I'm afraid my friend got him right in the face. I'm an FBI agent, should I train my gun on him?"

"I wouldn't, Ma'am. That could only further enrage him. The mace should keep him blinded for the next few minutes. Would you like me to stay on the line with you until the officers get there?"

"If you would, please." Penelope came to her side, wrapping an arm around her waist, and she leaned against her friend heavily. "I just can't believe that something like this happened to me. I'm trained to be a little more quick on my feet."

"These things happen, even to the most seasoned of professionals. No one can be on twenty four hours a day. Are you hearing the sirens yet?"

Erin listened for a moment. The sound of sirens grew louder in the background and she let out a sigh of relief. "Yes, I can hear them now. They're almost here."

"Good. Now, are you hurt at all?"

"No, just scared." The police car pulled into her driveway, parking behind Penelope and rushing into the house. "Oh, thank God you're here."

They nodded and cuffed the man. The older one led Mitch out while the younger one stayed behind with them. "What happened, Ma'am?" he asked as she hung up with the operator.

"I had just gotten home from my AA meeting, and called my friend, Penelope, to come over and talk me off the ledge, so to speak. I thought it was her when he knocked at the door. His name is Mitch, he's the leader of my AA group. He told me I was making a mistake, thinking about getting into a relationship so soon, and that he would fix that. I tried to get to my gun, but he stopped me, choking me. He'd just begun to rip off my panties when Penelope came in, macing him. If it hadn't been for her…"

"I understand, Ma'am. Is there anything else you'd like to add, Miss?" Penelope shook her head.

"I wasn't here to see what happened beyond him on Erin, trying to rape her. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You saved your friend." The cop turned on his heel and exited her house. Penelope went to let go of her and Erin stopped her, holding onto her arm tightly.

"Penny, don't leave me."

"I'm not, sweetheart. I'm just going to shut and lock the door. Okay?" Erin slowly nodded, not letting go of Penelope's hand as they moved to the door. Once it was locked, Erin led her into the living room and she collapsed onto the sofa, the first sobs tearing from her throat.

Penelope sat next to her, pulling her into a tight hug. She clung to the woman, letting all of her fear and sorrow pour out of her. "I-I, oh god, Penny, if you…"

"But I did, I was in time. You're safe here, with me." Erin nodded and lifted her face. Penelope's lips covered hers in a gentle kiss and she welcomed the sweet buss. "Let's get you upstairs now, and into bed."

"You promise you won't leave me?" Once more, she hated how weak she sounded, but Penelope made no note of it. Instead, she just smiled gently, cupping her face to rub her thumb against her cheek.

"I won't leave you." Erin nodded and stood up, holding her hand out to Penelope. As she clasped it, Erin began to lead her up to her room.

"I want to take a shower. I don't like being afraid in my own home." She knew she was babbling, but couldn't help herself. "It's not that I want you to be in the bathroom while I shower, but I kind of do. Which makes no sense…"

"But you want to feel secure. I understand." Penelope squeezed her hand and she took a deep breath. "And I'm staying the night."

Erin felt her shoulders slump with relief as she nodded. Letting go of Penelope's hand, she stepped behind the bathroom door, quickly stripping before stepping into the shower. As she closed the curtain, she called out, "Penny?"

"Right here, Erin. I'm going to sit on the toilet while you shower."

Erin nodded, even though she knew Penelope couldn't see her. Just knowing that her friend was there made everything better, and she took her time with washing her hair and body. It seemed like she wouldn't ever get clean, but the rational part of her brain knew that was a common reaction. Finally, though, her water began to cool and she turned the shower off. "I'm done now."

"Here." Penelope reached around the curtain, handing her a fluffy towel. Erin wrapped it around her body before stepping out of the shower. "I'll wait for you outside, okay?"

She nodded and once Penelope was gone, she dried off. Taking a look at the counter, she smiled when she saw that Penelope had laid out a nightgown and fresh panties for her. She pulled the clothes on and went to join her friend. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You are most welcome. Now, would you feel okay if I went down to my car and grabbed my go bag? I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail, I promise."

"I suppose." Penelope smiled at her before leaning in to kiss her forehead. She left the room and Erin sat on her bed, pulling her knees up to her chest. True to her word, Penelope was back quickly and she slipped into the bathroom to change. While she waited, Erin crawled beneath the covers, pulling the sheet up under her chin. Turning on her side, she tried to get comfortable, but found she couldn't, she was too nervous.

"Scoot over a little bit, sweetheart. I'm not this thin." Erin did so and felt Penelope spoon up along her body. "Are we going to work tomorrow?"

"Yes. But will you come home with me? I can't not be here, Samantha will be here, and I have to be strong for her. I don't care if she thinks we're dating at this point, I just need you by my side. Is that too stifling? I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to…" She turned to face Penelope, wondering what she was thinking.

"No, you're not being clingy. I totally understand, and I would hope that you would do the same for me." Reaching up, she ran her fingers through her damp hair and Erin arched into the light touches, loving the feeling. "Sleep now, if you can. I'll be here in the morning and for as long as you need me to be here." Erin nodded and let her eyes close as Penelope wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her close.


	8. Chapter 8

Erin woke up feeling cocooned in warmth. Stretching, she blinked open her eyes to look at Penelope. The woman was watching her and she smiled. Penelope leaned in and kissed her gently. "Good morning. You slept the whole night through."

"I didn't have any bad dreams. I think it's because you were here." She leaned in and kissed Penelope softly, letting her bury her fingers in her hair and hold her close.

"You didn't mention anything about getting hit last night," she said when they broke the kiss. Erin winced as Penelope's fingers ran over the goose egg, even though the touch was quite light. "Do you have a headache?"

"No. But it is a little tender. Do you think I should go in and see my doctor?"

"It's up to you, but speaking from what I've seen with the team, you probably won't go."

Erin laughed lightly as she sat up. "You're probably right. It doesn't bother me except when you touched it, so it can't be too bad." She heard Penelope gasp as she looked up at her and frowned a little. "What is it, Penny?"

"Your neck. Oh, please tell me you have a scarf to wear." Erin nodded and climbed out of bed, going over to her vanity. Arching her neck out, she took in the massive hand-shaped bruise around her neck and shuddered. "I thought you were exaggerating about your bruising easily. I am so sorry I doubted you." Penelope came up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist. Erin leaned back against her, welcoming the embrace.

Penelope brushed her fingers against the bruises and Erin closed her eyes, resting her head on the woman's shoulder. "Well, let's get a move on the day." Turning her head, she kissed Penelope's cheek. "I hope you like my daughter."

"I hope she likes me." She pushed Erin away a little and picked up her bag, rummaging through it for fresh clothes. "I'm going to get changed in the bathroom, sweetheart."

Erin nodded absently as Penelope moved off. Once the door closed, she went over to her closet and pulled out an outfit for the day. When she had finished that, she sat heavily on the bed, waiting for Penelope to finish so that she could get dressed. Humming to herself, she tried not to think about what had happened last night, instead, trying to focus on the good that had come out of it.

To her surprise, Penelope didn't take too long, and they changed places. Once the door was closed, she gave in to the tears that had threatened to fall from the time she had seen the bruising on her neck. Her first instinct was to crawl into bed and curl up, sleeping for weeks until everything went away. Somehow, she pulled on her work clothes and emerged from bathroom, feeling like death warmed over. "I think the bad dreams are coming with the daylight, Penny."

The woman came to her side and pulled her close, letting her arm rest around her waist. "We don't have to go in today, you know. I have some personal time, and I'm certain that you do, too."

Erin tried to shake her head, only to feel her head spin wildly. Staggering a little, she reached out an arm to balance herself, only to feel Penelope reach out and help her over to the bed. "Maybe that would be for the best," she murmured lowly. "My head is spinning horribly. Would you get me some aspirin?"

"Sure, you go and sit on the bed." Erin knew better than to nod, instead complying with the gentle order. She yawned deeply and laid down on the bed, watching the bathroom door for Penelope's return. "Here we are."

She took the glass of water and pills from Penelope's hands, quickly swallowing them before setting it aside. "Will you call Helen and tell her I'm taking a personal day? Please?"

Penelope nodded, still smiling at her. "And then I'll fix us breakfast. How do you like your eggs?"

"This morning? Scrambled with some cheese mixed in would be great."

"I will get right on that." And then she leaned down and kissed Erin's forehead softly. "I am going to take care of you, no matter what."

"Somehow, I believe you, Penelope." She watched Penelope leave the room before burrowing into the mattress and pulling the covers back up around her neck, struggling to get warm. Without meaning to, she fell back asleep and then into a terrible nightmare. Erin woke herself up screaming and she heard Penelope burst through the door, joining her on the bed.

"Shh, Erin, I'm here," she murmured gently as she rocked them back and forth.

"I just wish I could have one glass of sherry, or whiskey, or something. I hate having to face these demons without anything to fall back on." Her grip on Penelope tightened as she tried to calm her breaths, to feel a sense of balance once more. "Is that so much to ask? One sip?"

"For you, it is. Oh, Erin, my darling one, I do not want to lose you to that demon once more. Fall on me, and I'll protect you, I promise."

"Do you keep your promises?"

"I do."

"All right, then, I'll fall on you." She yawned a little. "I shouldn't be this tired. We fell asleep so soon after we came up here." Penelope nodded and settled onto the bed next to her, balancing the tray on her lap.

"Well, let's get you something in your stomach and then you can fall back asleep against me, all right?"

She gave a half-hearted nod and picked up a fork, picking at the food. It was a struggle to get her portion down, but somehow she managed to eat every bite there, washing it down with orange juice. Penelope set the tray aside when they were both done, and then turned to look at her. "I wish I was stronger. I hate that you see me as such a weak person."

"You, my sweet love, are not weak." The way she said those words, like a caress, warmed Erin's heart and she nodded before resting her head on Penelope's chest.

"But you don't love me yet," she murmured as Penelope began to run her fingers through her hair.

"Au contraire, my sweet Erin. While it is true that I might not love you as a lover does, yet, I do love you as a friend." She reached up and tweaked her nose lightly, causing Erin to yawn. "Now, go to sleep, let the demons fade away with the comfort of dreams."

She tried to nod, but found her head too heavy to do so. Instead, she let her eyes flutter closed, nuzzling her face close to Penelope's chest. Sleep, though, was not so quick to come, and she sighed, keeping her eyes closed. "I can't seem to get back to sleep. Why do troubles always seem to come all at once? This mess with David, the attack, it's too much."

"And yet, look at what's also come out of this. I wouldn't call our relationship something bad, would you? And while I may not like the fact that you were hurt, I do like the fact that I get to take of you." Penelope pressed her lips against the crown of her head and she smiled despite how she felt.

"I'm not terribly good at being taken care of. I've always relished my independence. Do you think I could get away with taking the whole week off and give these bruises some time to heal? I don't want the others to view me as a victim."

"You're not a victim."

"Yes, I am. Someone assaulted me in my home and left behind the bruises to give evidence of that. That makes me a victim of crime. I don't want to diminish that, Penny. It's part of who I am now." She pressed her lips to the bit of bare skin that she could reach and felt the woman rub her back gently.

As they rested together, she heard her phone ring. "Do you want me to get that?"

"Mmm, yes, please." Penelope reached over her to grab the handset, and Erin frowned a little as she was jostled a bit.

"Erin Strauss's residence, whom may I say is calling? Oh, hi, Hotch! Yes. Yes. Oh, they called there? Kevin told you. That's right, my computer is setup to let me know whenever a police report is filed about one of us. We're going to be fine, but I need you to go to Director Shepperd and tell him that we're taking the week off. She has a pretty nasty bump on her head, and some bruising that would just cause the others to ask questions we don't want to answer. Thanks so much, I'm glad you have our backs. I'll talk to you later."

Hanging the phone back up, she then pulled Erin close to her. "So, Hotch is okay with you staying with me for a week?"

"Sugar, I could ask for the moon and that man would give it to me." A teasing tone had crept into her voice. "Well, no, I shouldn't say that. He respects me enough to know that I can do my work from home as long as I have access to a computer. You do have a computer here, right?"

"Yes. I am not completely cut off from technology. It's the only way I can talk to my children some days." She stiffened in Penelope's arms, clutching at her wrist. "What do I tell Samantha? She's going to be here at six."

"We'll cross that bridge when she gets here, I promise. Right now, I want you to try and sleep. I know that it probably feels miles away, but you can do it."

Erin grumbled a little as she snuggled into Penelope. "Would you at least sing me to sleep? Maybe that would relax me enough where I could doze off."

"I can totally do that, Erin. I'm afraid I don't know any lullabies, though."

"Just sing me whatever first comes to mind, I'm sure you'll know the perfect song."

Penelope fell silent for a few moments and then began to sing, "If a person should ever like a person, then a person should like you. Being that I'm only just a person, what would you do? If a person should ever…" Penelope's voice faded out into the blackness of sleep, and Erin smiled as she felt some measure of peace steal over her heart.


End file.
